I’m a choosy dater. I’ll give (almost) anyone a chance at a first date, but I only continue seeing someone where I really feel the connection, the spark–potential. True, this means I go on a lot of first dates, relatively few second dates, and spend a lot of time single. But I’d rather be single than breaking some poor schmuck’s heart. If I catch myself looking over your shoulder for something better, that’s it. Moving on….
Unfortunately, I’ve dated more than one guy who does not share my dating philosophy. In fact, I daresay most of the men I’ve dated are not like this; they pretty much come in two flavors:
There’s Insecure Guy who is convinced that he doesn’t deserve me and/or that I’m cheating on him. I have a lot of guy friends, and I make this point known up-front, but alas, my guy friends are suddenly morphed into my secret lover the minute I start dating Insecure Guy. I make it clear to him that I’m faithful to a fault; I’ve never cheated on anyone or anything–not even a math quiz. And that’s usually the end of that, since I place trust at the utmost of my relationship requirements. Moving on….
And of course there’s the complement to Insecure Guy, All-too-secure Guy. This guy is a charmer, for sure. But he uses his charm for evil purposes when he decides that he’s such a catch tha he really shouldn’t deny any hot young thing who glances his way a shot with him. And so he cheats on me, and so I’m heart-broken. Remember the trust thing? Remeber the faithful-to-a-fault thing? Yeah…moving on….
But then there’s the third type of guy. I think I’ve met him, but I’ve never dated him. I have a feeling if I ever dated him, that might be it. That might be the relationship that’s too hard to screw up or throw away and so maybe we’d just stick with it. Mind you, I have no reason to believe that this Third Man exists, just undying faith in the goodness of people and the benevolence of fate.